Something You've Probably Done

A warning before you read on -- this post is NSFW (not safe for work) -- if you work for anyone who is sex-phobic.


I work for myself -- and I'm not sex-phobic by any stretch of the imagination, so this post is not NSFW for me.

This post is about masturbation.

Like I said: Something you've probably done.

My astrological complex is: Gemini/Cancer Cusp, Sagittarius Moon, Scorpio Rising.

I could use that to "explain" the importance of sex in my life, but I don't think I need to. I like sex. I've always liked sex.

While there are some people who do not like sex (and by this, I mean people who genuinely do not like sex, as opposed to people who hate the idea of sex, or think that sex is dirty/bad/evil/wrong), and while I completely respect the proclivities of people who do not like sex, I think that there are many people who do like sex, but whose upbringing and cultural entrainment may have steered them away from a complete enjoyment of their own sexuality.

Hence, this post.

About masturbation.

When I was a teenager, Saturday mornings were the only real free time I had. Mon-Fri was School (or a Summer job), dinner, family/homework in the evenings, and Sundays mornings, there was Church to get up for, then more family. Thus, Saturday mornings were preferred masturbation time.

My mother thought I just liked to sleep late (yeah, as if).

As they say: "Practice makes perfect" -- so I did my level best to practice the art of self-pleasure. I also believe that my lovers benefited from my endless self-experimentation, so it's all good.

Please note the following video, and how it's "funny" because it's preposterous to us that people would be this completely frank and open about this uncomfortable subject -- "Playing in a One Man Show", "Engaging in Super-Safe Sex","Much Goo About Nothing", "Tugging the Vertical Smile", "Getting To Know Yourself" (or my personal favorite, courtesy of best-friend -- "Waving at the Pod") -- in short -- Wanking:

I've wanked in many times, spaces, and dimensions, with and without aids, alone and with others. Despite all social commentary to the contrary ("You wanker!", "What? Hole in your inflatable girlfriend again?", etc.) I think masturbation is a good thing, and I say that as a person in a completely satisfying sexual relationship with another human being.

Too often, in our culture, I think masturbation gets short shrift. It's the thing you're supposed to do only if you have no alternative ("alternative" being: sex with another human being). While making love/having great sex with another consenting human is fantastic, there are still times when some "quality time" with yourself and your genitalia can be just the thing.

It's odd to me that something that is so nearly-universal in humans is still the source of humor-through-shame.

Which is why I was glad that I found the following video clip.

When I first saw it, I was absolutely stopped in my tracks, and wondered if it could possibly be "real" -- however, I believe that most of the people on this clip are really doing what you think they're doing -- and the vulnerability of that astounded and still astounds me. This is one of the most amazing videos I've ever seen on the internet.

It's outrageously courageous, in my opinion, and I salute all the brave souls who participated.

Keep doing what you've probably done.

Posted byPortlyDyke at 11:54 PM  


Brian said... January 26, 2008 at 10:40 AM  

Back when I was a bartender in college, I had a black t-shirt that simply said, in white letters, "I'd rather be masturbating." It was the best shirt I ever owned, and got me loads of tips. I wound up selling it to a drunk woman a year after I bought it for three times what I'd paid for it. Worst sale I ever made.

Burning Prairie said... January 26, 2008 at 6:32 PM  

Something I found interesting in that video is a similarity to the expressions I see on peoples' faces during religious ecstatic experiences. Folks that are "slain in the lord" at evangelical events look just. like. that. Maybe people wouldn't be so uptight if they just had a good, healthy orgasm.

em said... January 27, 2008 at 8:56 PM  

Hey, I've been lurking at your site for awhile. I just wanted to say thanks for posting this. It was really beautiful.

Fannie said... January 28, 2008 at 9:10 AM  

Great post, Portly.

On a related note, there are two screening criteria I use on potential friends:

1) Do they admit they masturbate?


2) Are they nice to waiters/waitresses?

People who do neither of these things may be fine people, but I'd prefer to hang out with people who are honest/okay with sexuality, and who are friendly.

amish451 said... January 29, 2008 at 11:13 AM  

"Best sex I ever had, I was alone, all by myself!" ...a toss off line a friend used in nearly any conversation about sex ...miss that guy.

The Cunning Runt said... January 29, 2008 at 9:17 PM  

And we're stuck here in this country of prudes who wank 'till it's blue and won't admit it.

Jeezhus, even spellcheck won't admit it!!

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