It's National Bible Week -- Party Down, Y'all!!!

Even though Congress tried to steal my thunder by celebrating National Bible Week two weeks early (rass'n'frass'n early celebrants), I will not be denied my right to join in the festivities toutin' -- Teh Best-Sellin' Tome of All Time[tm]!

Since the National Bible Associations says that, even if you aren't a Christian, "Everyone else ought to read the Bible to better understand art and literature," I thought I'd run a daily entry in honor of NBW to help all you culturally-deprived non-bible readers.

However, I've stumbled on another thorny issue (there are so many these days!) -- Which version of the Bible should I use?

Since the National Bible Association doesn't endorse any particular version, and there are so many of them (over 450 English translations alone), I thought I'd go for a version that was likely to resonate with my readers, and start right at the beginning!


Genesis 1: Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

(Side by side with KJV for the lolcat-impaired)

LOLCATS Version

KING JAMES Version

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

1In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

2And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.

3And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.

4And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

5And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.

6And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

7 An Ceiling Cat doed the skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.

7And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

8And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.

9And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urths and waters oscunz. Iz good.

10And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.


Every day this week, I'll be bringing you a little Bible verse (and some commentary), so that you, too, can begin to understand art and literature.

If you're feeling extra-enthused about NBW, why not pitch in and help by translating a few verses? Go forth and giv kittehs sum hlp plz.

Posted byPortlyDyke at 12:23 PM  

2 comments:

Phydeaux Speaks said... November 18, 2007 at 1:43 PM  

Ceiling Cat can haz cheezburger!

I think my fave is still Teh Catitudes (aka "The Beatitudes")

Burning Prairie said... November 20, 2007 at 3:22 PM  

"...but he did not eated dem." Funniest Bible verse evah!

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