20 Years

Today is the 20th anniversary of my being self-employed.

Twenty years ago today, I drove to my last pay-check job, had a head-on collision which totaled my lover's station wagon (but from which I walked away unscathed), and that was just the start of the day that ended my previous 15 years of wage-slavery.

I took my first "real" job when I was 17 (I'm not counting baby-sitting and other odd-job work that I did as a kid). In 1973 I was a Camp Counselor. Between then and April 1, 1988, I was paid money to hold the following positions:

  • Camp Counselor
  • Education Theater Company Performer
  • Meat Packing Plant Weinie Packer (no shit)
  • Meat Packing Plant Bone-Room Knifer (again, no shit)
  • Dolly Madison Factory Worker
  • Professional Actress/Singer/Dancer
  • Catering Company Server
  • Gas Station Attendant
  • Bank Over-draft Manager
  • Waittress
  • Punk Rock Musician
  • Institutional Cook
  • Program Manager for HUD Pilot Program
The past 20 years have held even more job descriptions, and a lot of ups and downs for me, but I must admit that there have been far more ups than downs. One of the main reasons that I opted for self-employment originally was that I wanted to have more time for myself and more time with my family. I think it's safe to say at this point that I would never, ever, go back to work for someone else. For one thing, I think they would find me an insufferable know-it-all that doesn't take direction well -- for another thing, I'd hate it.

I haven't blogged since the turn of the Equinox.

I've been busy being . . . . well . . . self-employed.

That's part of it, anyway.

The other part of it is that I've been taking a good long look at my involvement on the internet, and how it has affected my outlook on life.

I love the part where I feel connected through this incredible medium -- the part where I have a sense that the conversation I'm having with thousands of other human beings might be helping us move forward as a species -- but recently, I've had the sense that I was just having the SAME conversation, over and over, and maybe none of us were really expanding in the process. So I took a step back -- not really consciously at first . . . but one day turned into two, then two into three, and then a week had passed, and now, nearly two weeks have passed.

In truth, I'm tired of the bitching and moaning about politics which are 90% dog-and-pony-show anyway, tired of reacting to a media that doesn't deserve my attention anyway -- and, turning my attention away from these recently, I've noticed that I haven't been certain that those who read my blog would be interested in the other stuff I might have to say -- because what I've been putting my attention on lately has been profoundly based in "real" world interactions, understandings, and spiritual question and answer periods with myself.

I thought about re-appearing today with some story about how it had all been an elaborate April Fool's joke to make you think I'd fallen off the edge of the earth (or been Raptured) -- but that would have been . . . . you know . . . a big fat lie (and you probably know how I feel about lying).

I've been remembering back a while ago when Waveflux disappeared at Shakesville for a time, and reappeared with a post about needing to just take a break, take a walk, get back to things real and visceral -- and I remember thinking: "Hmm. That's probably going to be me one day."

The computer breakdown helped, I suppose. A few days high and dry without my beloved computer, and I realized that I would not, in fact, die, if I didn't read every single blog in the Universe, much less comment on them.

Then, about the time I got to posting again, there was the pile-up of work that had accumulated while the computer was down, and an Equinox celebration to have, and then . . . . well, then there was the soul-searching.

I'm back, though. Again. And to Phydeaux, I'll say -- apparently I'm not shame-proof yet.

Posted byPortlyDyke at 10:54 PM  

5 comments:

Bob said... April 2, 2008 at 8:25 AM  

Yay! That you're back, not that you not shame-proof.

*stores photo for future possible blackmail -- err, I mean use.*

It's always nice to recharge the ole batteries.

Jennifer said... April 2, 2008 at 12:16 PM  

I for one would *love* to read about some of those other topics.

Not that what your readers might expect (or even what they prefer) really needs to have much of an impact on what you choose to write.

Bird said... April 2, 2008 at 1:32 PM  

I love reading this blog for your writing style and your reflections on life, whatever aspect of that you want to discuss. It's your blog. If there's something you want to say, I guarantee there are those of us out here who want to read it.

NameChanged said... April 2, 2008 at 7:50 PM  

good to see you're back. I am always interested in everything you have to say, and I understand the need for space from the 'tubes.

Anonymous said... April 2, 2008 at 10:29 PM  

Yeah. I for one am interested in whatever you have to say. And wait patiently while you recharge (checking every day, a'course).

Lambness

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