tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post2003364529027694381..comments2023-04-28T07:38:34.667-07:00Comments on Teh Portly Dyke: Overheard at SafewayPortlyDykehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08598941981828041835noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-68751327502571701842007-12-16T20:30:00.000-08:002007-12-16T20:30:00.000-08:00Thank you for reminding me what a treasure my gran...Thank you for reminding me what a treasure my grandmother truly is. As I was growing up, she, the mother of two girls, did not have any idea how to raise a "boy". She just wanted to make me happy. So when at the age of five I wanted a tea set, then she bought me one. This, of course, deeply disturbed my father, whom I only saw on alternating weekends. I do not think she ever understood what the fuss was about. Unfortunately, I think that I did. Gender conditioning is a deeply ingrained fact of our society, carried out in homes, schools, and the marketplace.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-86352499620439278402007-12-11T16:30:00.000-08:002007-12-11T16:30:00.000-08:00"it's a relationship that's being born, as much as...<I>"it's a relationship that's being born, as much as a being."</I><BR/><BR/>That gave me chills. In a good way.PortlyDykehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08598941981828041835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-27663834394902861692007-12-11T16:22:00.000-08:002007-12-11T16:22:00.000-08:00Jennifer, I am here to tell you, my daughter is a ...Jennifer, I am here to tell you, my daughter is a greater challenge to me in certain ways than my son was. And, I think it's me! My work, my karma, my lessons--she's no more or less unique than my son or me. As my father used to say, through children, you get to raise yourself, and sometimes, as in his case, one of your parents too.<BR/><BR/>Somehow in all the generic commentary one hears out there about babies, it never seems to get mentioned that it's a relationship that's being born, as much as a being.<BR/><BR/>LambnessAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-92189177841620934682007-12-09T19:00:00.000-08:002007-12-09T19:00:00.000-08:00(...hands Jen her paradigm shift...)There you go, ...(...hands Jen her paradigm shift...)<BR/><BR/>There you go, Kid. I've made back-up copies, you just keep that one handy.<BR/><BR/>PD, as always, <I>you rock.</I> Write a damned book, why dontcha? America needs you.The Cunning Runthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11480635074548499383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-88744957563667536962007-12-09T12:49:00.000-08:002007-12-09T12:49:00.000-08:00Drives me f-in' nuts when parents do the knowing-l...Drives me f-in' nuts when parents do the knowing-look thing and utter that never-contested throwaway line: "Of course, girls [or, occasionally, boys] are so much easier than boys [girls]."<BR/><BR/>Can everybody I've ever met (Okay. Hyperbole. <I>Slight</I> hyperbole.) <B>really</B> believe that? Does NOBODY but you, me and Shakesville see the indoctrination that begins at birth if not, as you say, before?<BR/><BR/>Can I <B>please</B> have my paradigm shift now? Pretty please?<BR/><BR/>/rantJenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16453489879246452921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-75189890946272641522007-12-08T12:14:00.000-08:002007-12-08T12:14:00.000-08:00You're right, PD. I DID misunderstand. My bad. ...You're right, PD. I DID misunderstand. My bad. (And my apologies. :) )<BR/><BR/>I can see where you're coming from with the gender-neutral thing. I think what it is (and I can only speak for myself here) is that we're calling something gender-neutral because it's the <I>closest thing to the real thing</I> in this society. It might not be TRULY gender-neutral, but it's so outside of the "norm" that it's as close to the REAL thing as we're going to get (right now; like you, I hope that things DO change eventually).<BR/><BR/>Like I said, I can only speak for myself, but that's my take on it.nukkingphutzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01957546361672688827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-19910499528575025282007-12-08T11:20:00.000-08:002007-12-08T11:20:00.000-08:00nuckingfutz -- perhaps you misunderstood me -- I d...nuckingfutz -- perhaps you misunderstood me -- I didn't say that these were necessarily reasons that people wanted a boy or a girl -- just that I found it curious that this is such a strong preference, which indicates that socially, we have expectations about what it means to be female or male -- before the baby is even born.<BR/><BR/>Although many people claim that they grew up in a gender-neutral environment, I don't really believe that that gender-neutral can be found in our society -- gender roles are, perhaps, less rigid than 40 years ago (I'm 51 and I can attest to changes since I was growing up) -- but they still exist and are children are still indoctrinated in them.PortlyDykehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08598941981828041835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-1534014552110697002007-12-08T08:53:00.000-08:002007-12-08T08:53:00.000-08:00Hey, PD. Mind if I add something here?I have to d...Hey, PD. Mind if I add something here?<BR/><BR/>I have to disagree with your stance about WHY people say they may be "hoping" for X or X. But only a bit. I am definitely willing to believe that SOME people think those things. But not all of us. See, when I was pg with my 2nd, I got the same question. I'd already had a girl, and like every stereotypical girl, I had dreamed about my future family. And I'd always known I wanted at LEAST one of each: a boy AND a girl. (Don't ask me why, I don't know; I just wanted a boy and a girl.) So when I already had a girl, and found out I was pg again, I wanted a boy. One of each, fulfill my dream. Ya know? But if you asked me what my deepest wish for said baby was? My answer would have been that it simply be healthy. My oldest turned out to be both epileptic and autistic, and since neither of those disorders have any concrete cause, the worry that any subsequent children I had would turn out the same way was there. But when I found out she was going to be a girl, I barely felt a pinch of regret at not having a boy.<BR/><BR/>I think a lot of it has to do with how a person was raised, too, though. I wasn't forced into a "girl" role. Yeah, I was a girly-girl in some ways, but I was a total tomboy in others. I was never told that I couldn't do something or have X toy or whatever simply because I was a girl. And I take the same stance with my girls (never did have that boy, lol).<BR/><BR/>I seriously wonder how many single-parent households have been responsible for a lot of the liberals out there. I have a sneaking suspicion that it would be a lot.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-46352424154442683362007-12-07T21:38:00.000-08:002007-12-07T21:38:00.000-08:00No shit I'd enjoy it. That's just . . . . perfect...No shit I'd enjoy it. That's just . . . . perfect. <BR/><BR/>But then, you know how I feel about that young man already. :)PortlyDykehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08598941981828041835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795483213843043301.post-82520750544744695042007-12-06T08:05:00.000-08:002007-12-06T08:05:00.000-08:00Hi, PD. I want to share with you what I believe to...Hi, PD. I want to share with you what I believe to be a crack in the indoctrination: My son, when he encounters the apparently ever-present homophobic sentiment in high school culture (which I think might be very much a reaction to the potential undermining of both gender and oppressive roles) by avowing boldly,"I'm twenty percent gay. And I think everyone is at least twenty percent gay." He came up with that, and his friends are careful not to use homophobic language in his presence. I thought you'd enjoy this. I do, immensely.<BR/><BR/>LambnessAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com